Misfit

I was loitering at the climbing store on Terrebonne Street
When a man named Misfit I would meet
He lived in a windowless van with no seat
He looked weathered, wobbly, and a little offbeat

He could talk about history with no end in sight
Yosemite, Roosevelt, Muir, that's right
The guy behind the counter thought I would leave out of fright
But this was my most memorable Friday night

The next thing that happened was actually kind of eerie
It was the only time the entire night I felt a little leery

Misfit peered straight into my core
Why is he not talking anymore?
I felt like I should head for the door

Then something beside me gave me a poke
Something inside me fully awoke
I was sitting straight up when he finally spoke,

"When you have reached your climbing goal,
Do you think that will fix your broken Soul?"

Thank you Misfit and Lucas

St. Helens

Two hikers carrying snowboards passed us on Ptarmigan Trail
I think they were traveling with home-brewed ale
I was working hard to stay right on their tail
I tried to keep up but to no avail

This does not compare to Everest
But I was grateful for that boulder to rest
My headache is making this more of a test
This was my idea so I will not protest

When we got to the summit I put on my fleece
Better head down before a caprice
I was already high no need for a bong
How come the trip down takes half as long?

Thanks Mom & Dad for taking care of the kids.

A Great Day at the Park

I started climbing at Smith without a rack nor a clue
My harness and biner were shiny and new
In the Park I was green, deep down I was blue

On the second to the last day in May
There was no sign of a storm like the previous day
The weather was nice and I was ready to play!

My guide was half man and half mountain goat
Over the rocks he seemed to float
He even saddled all the gear to tote

He guided me up Monkey Face
We did it in a rapid pace
But the bolt ladder I did not race

We ate a snack when we got to the top
The panoramic view did not stop
I looked down below us it was quite a drop

Then Pluto and Zonkers on TR
I was ready for my Solstice goji bar
What? That did not count as a send?
You did not lead it. Do you comprehend?

Both ways covered the same vertical stair
But in the event that you catch some air
One was safe, the other a dare

The unforgettable day went by too fast
It was nice for a moment to forget my past
I hoped this incredible feeling would last

Thanks DP for giving me a great experience.

Lupine

We were camping in a Los Gatos ravine
The wildlife could not be seen
What lurked about when the sun fell
Even with my eyes open I could not tell

Even the moon I did not see glow
I could hear deer come and go
What was that in the tree?
I'm kinda scared and have to pee

When I heard the tent tear
I thought for sure it was a bear
I thought I was to die soon
But it was just a hungry raccoon

Thanks for scaring it away, DB!

Big Dog

One day a big dog stared down at me
As I was hiking up Misery
The owner said, "He doesn't bite."
I replied, "Yeah, okay, alright."
As I looked away to notice some ants
That damn dog took a chunk of my pants

Baited

My dad and brothers would seek water to fish
While I would scramble over rocks to wish
They called my name to free a hook
I climbed the tree without a look
When I came down I gushed with glee
Until I saw the snake looking down on me

Nectar

I first started climbing on trees
This was long before I injured both knees
In our backyard was an apple and cherry
When the fruit was ripe I would be just merry

I would climb up the tree then jump to the rooftop
No need to bring my favorite lollipop
Eating cherries without swallowing the pit
I hung out up here to avoid getting hit

As a kid I loved being on the roof
This explains why I am sometimes aloof
Lying on my back, gazing at the sky
Just basking, always asking and wondering why

Hard For Me

Deep down I believe it
Now it is time for me to achieve it
But after the fourth round
I still couldn't get off the ground

I kept trying and trying
To the point of almost crying
On my tenth try I was near the top
Then I heard my finger pop

I signaled to my belayer I wanted down
I was trying hard to hide my frown
"You are tough with your stuff," he yelled up
He doesn't know what was done to me when I was a pup

I felt dead
Wouldn't make progress if I crawled into bed
Tape kept coming off my finger still bled
"One more try," I finally said

The guy who wrote the guidebook rate
I think he was in an altered state
I am too green and not so lean
To be able to climb 5.13

I must have strayed from the original line
Maybe at some crags this is a crime
Anyway you look at it, I made the climb mine

Thanks for the belay, DB

Dung Watching Society

We paddled our kayaks on Lake B C
Through all the people who water ski
Paddled some more, past the bridge
I could hardly wait to get to the ridge
Encrypted in the rocks was a glass of wine
That's where I marked the starting line

It was still morning and getting hotter
What is it like to have the lake be your spotter?
Looking at the condition of the water
I think I would prefer Sonnie Trotter

Was it really safe to swim in this lake?
I think I saw something that resembled a rake
Plastic bottles, oily pools
Wouldn't be surprised if I saw floating stools

Not only did this create an eye sore
But there were also crass people galore
I remember the drunk guy in the truck
Did he really just call me a terrible fuck?
Did he not like my kayak without an engine?
Did I spook him by talking in Hawaiian pidgin'?

Unlucky how some people manage their fear
By yelling in someone else's ear
I guess that's why they own guns here

All my excitement was not true
Now I was just feeling blue
I feel surrounded by people who hate
Don't want to catch what they have, but is it too late?

Society's behavior has taken its toll
This is definitely not how I want to roll
When I think about the future, I am at a loss
Our once beautiful world will eventually turn to choss

Thanks DB, ST, YC, SB, and CG. The Dawg Pound chased Stray Cat up the cliff!

Solitude in Sisters

It's okay that he took my favorite draw
It would not have helped my hands that are raw
All I need are my shoes and my chalk
Just climb for myself without all that talk

For a challenge I decided to ditch the gear
Ready to embrace my fear
When rubber meets the pumice rock
It won't matter if your biner will lock

Are you sure you are made of all the right stuff?
Or is what's oozing out of your leg just fluff?

Forget about flirtations
Remember the illustrations
Know your limitations

All it takes is one good butt kickin'
To go from fierce raptor
To a lame chicken

No room for lies
No one will hear my cries
If I fail no one else dies
To find my body just follow the flies

I should climb on a rope
Than bleed like a dope
Climb with a grin
And just tie in

I might as well face it as I land in a mass
I'm not really all that bad ass

Thanks LH

Soul-o-wing

Cold at the Grasslands
Feels like I have no hands
Why did I sleep in so late?
I never forget a climbing date
Sometimes I wish I had a truck
Sometimes I am a catastrophuck
But living like this is coconut bliss
It's just hot chocolate that I really miss
I sit and stare and think what's next
I think I'll start another text

Thanks JS and ST