"It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)"

Listening to the rapids while composing my rap
I'm very tired and feel a little like crap
This morning I drank the water from the outdoor tap
I think it made me sick cuz all I want to do is nap

Not having a mom to take care of you can be a drag
Moms can teach you not to hit, not to lie, and not to brag
Wherever I roam, the locals are generally nice
I've been lucky to hear all their motherly advice:

Hide your backpack and rope in the tall grassy field
Don't jump when the ranger taps on your windshield

While you sleep in your car, leave your keys in the ignition
You can get away faster, it's not superstition

Soak your achy limbs in Squaw Creek cuz it's like ice
Only spend your money on black beans and brown rice

Stay away from that creep who gave you a wink
Run like the wind and don't bother to think

If you are having trouble pretending to be strong
You can stay at my place and I won't ask you what's wrong

When people take the time to save me from insanity
It fills me with hope for all of humanity

I guess it takes a village to support this Stray Cat
To all the compassionate guardians out there, I tip my hat!

PS
The Depot will only sell you beer in a glass
Go to Deschutes Brewery for a pitcher
And they treat you with class

Partners

Call it Hawaiian affection, I have the gene
I don't climb with people who are terribly mean

Being a stray, I must keep my guard up
But if our eyes meet, you will hear a "Wazzup?"

Climbing partners are sometimes hard to find
I've been lucky so far cuz everyone's been kind

The guy who kept calling me "Dude" was wildly tame
He always had his mind on Mary Jane
(I think this is why he kept forgetting my name)

I remember the time I climbed with a serial killer
I thought that 20-foot whipper was the day's only thriller!

Then there was the one who thought she was running from the Feds
But actually she lost track of time and forgot to take her meds

I miss the guy who knew how to tape my hands so they no longer bled
He was a serious pothead, I hope he's not dead

To each and every partner who later became a friend
I will always support your life as if it was me on the sharp end

Shared Space

There's this place that I visit

When I want to cut the bullshit

No one judging what's wrong or right

Just fully living the day and night

Taking a break from the urge to self-criticize

Stripped naked of any deceiving disguise

Like getting into a boat that no longer floats

Even music is the rest between the notes

The only thing solid here is uncertainty

The rock and Being form a sacred unity

This shared space once physical

Transcends into the metaphysical

No escaping and no place to hide

Lean into the pain, are you up for the ride?

This place does not care if you stick the dyno

Ego is toxic like bat guano

This place is the hush between the chatter

At the end of the day, the result does not matter

For us to heal, we must feel our pain in another

Give kindness and care to the one who lost a brother

This place teaches me that I've always been whole

The thing I was searching for resides in my Soul

Ocean Plea

If you have an affection for both animal and tree
If you don't want an infection in your knee
If you enjoy diving, paddling, and surfing carefree
It is up to us to save our sea

Close Call

Breathe in peace, breathe out worry
I was climbing in such a hurry

I stopped tugging, tapping, and tracking
Unaware that a hold up above was cracking

I worn my kids about complacency
"Constant vigilance is a good place to be"

As usual I wasn't listening to my own advice
I was careless, reckless, and rolling the dice

When I got to the loose hold, I went for a ride
Felt like being caught in a surfing riptide

At first I was blaming the humidity
But honestly it was my own stupidity

I was lucky that day that I survived
My heart took awhile, but it revived

But now I tie in just to cross the street
And I won't take it for granted that we got to meet

Beyond the Northern Point

Solo

Yo yo

Where I go

Nobody will know

Spring Thing

I was sitting on a cliff at the Northern Point
Strumming my uke instead of smoking a joint
When I was asked by a dark and handsome dude
If I knew the tabs to the Beatles' Hey Jude

Normally I would shy away
But it's kinda lonely being a stray
So I let my guard down just for today
Even if he might later betray

I did not regret my decision to socialize
He liked me even without my disguise

We laughed and played by the fireside
We talked until the embers died
I found it hard to leave his side
I could not lie to him if I tried

How do I tell him I am damaged goods?
I belong to the Club of Stolen Childhoods
I could pretend that was never a part of me
Just rewrite my entire life herstory

I tried to keep it light to get my worries out of the way

"Let's climb tomorrow, I'll be your belay"
"I bought a slightly used grigri on eBay the other day"
I nervously started playing my ukulele

Then I shook my head and opened my eyes
Only then did I finally realize
This social interaction was not a real thing
But I still wonder what happened to my G string

House of Choss

Me and my good friend Ross

We decided to hike a mountain instead of practice lacrosse

Many a creek you must cross

At some point you wish you were an albatross

Suddenly, my eyes lost their gloss

Should we go straight or go across?

I don't know. You be the boss

I wasn't feeling well due to mineral loss

Later on, doubled over, my cookies I would toss

I guess it didn't matter that I forgot to floss

We trekked this long way to pull on wet, green moss

Maybe I would feel better if I had some applesauce

The Dark Side

What is it like to be a bat?
Curiosity drives this Stray Cat
So we headed east on China Hat
Looking for a cave with no doormat

To get my 10-20, you need a GPS
The precise coordinates, I will not confess
Go past the sign that is a mess
Wander 'til you find a cairn, more or less

I don't recommend caving as one
Don't want to do what's been done
Don't want to copy the climber Ralston
He had to cut through his own tendon

Not sure about this spelunking
Felt like I was going through some kind of punking
I did not like the idea of flunking
So I imagined myself like a donut dunking

I probably shouldn't which is why I did
Go down the tunnel without a lid

The darkness was so bright it was blinding
My nose and ears were more receptive, I was finding

Without a lamp on your head
You would soon be full of dread

You would not get very far
Without a bat's sonar

It looked like this cave was used as a bar
It was cold and I wanted in the warm car

A lot of garbage underground
Plastic bottles abound
A used condom was found
By the cigarette butt on the ground

Did you know bats hibernate?
Just the ones that don't migrate
If you disturb their bed
They might wake up dead

We didn't find any bats in the shape of balls
But now I know about dusty, dirty, and cramped cave walls

Don't want to be in a cave when nature calls
Nothing down here resembles bathroom stalls

I am still flabbergasted by all the litter
What about the little critter?

Was it a bat that was drinking the PBR
Where you cannot see a single star?

Thanks SB

Guardian Angels

The following tale is slightly dramatic
I removed the material that is too graphic
After going through something so traumatic
I strongly discourage texting in traffic

I embarked on a journey up to this rim
I was determined to make it without losing a limb
If I keep Three Creek Lake on my right
I should definitely summit before the night

I needed to prove that I was not frail
I would do my level best not to fail

The first thing I did was drink my kombucha
That stuff gives me a buzz, I let out a "Booyah!"

After hiking for a few hours and thinking about sandy beaches
This song kept playing in my head, the one by Moldy Peaches

Snow banks appeared, covering the trail
The sun was going down, I would be traveling by Braille

The mosquitoes were suddenly everywhere
That big moving shadow looked like a bear
I did not think to bring spare underwear
I started to question my will to prepare

I stopped following the blue diamonds on the trees
Now I am praying on my knees

This reminds me of an episode of Little House on the Prairie
When Laura climbed a mountain to get away from Mary
She wanted to get to Heaven to see G-O-Dizzle
When she saw an angel, her mind started to fizzle

I decided to use a lifeline and phone a friend
He assured me I would be fine and this was not my end

I cannot lie
I started to cry

This was very egotistical and stupid of me
To trek this mountain on a solo journey

Just then a man and his dog appeared on my track
He thought he was following his own
To make a long story short, I followed him back
It was nice not to be alone

I was unnaturally chatty and jolly
I was saved by a man and his dog Molly
The man told me about the time when he got lost
It involved meeting hunters and biting frost

It didn't take long
Before I was singing this song,

"I wanted to avoid Cupid
By getting buff,
But if you are stupid,
You better be tough."

For Tom and Molly